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Feds Want To Seize Pharma Bro’s $2 Million Wu-Tang Album And He’s Furious

Editor’s Note: Wu-Tang’s 36 Chambers and GZA’s Liquid Swords are some of the author’s “favorite albums of all time”. Also, like most Americans, he “can’t stand Shkreli” and wishes him nothing but the worst.

Remember Martin Shkreli, the “Pharma Bro” who jacked up the price of a life-saving HIV medication by 5000% and was convicted in August of defrauding investors in a scam involving imaginary hedge fund assets?

Do you also remember him bragging on Twitter about paying millions for an unreleased album by the rap sensation Wu-Tang Clan? And for somehow leaking tracks from Lil Wayne’s unreleased Tha Carter V without permission?

Watch: Shkreli brags about illicitly acquiring Lil Wayne’s unreleased album

Well, this week, in a letter filed in Brooklyn federal court, prosecutors claimed that this bastard braggart owes 7.3 million dollars to account for his criminal enterprises. Thing is, despite all the smugness, dude doesn’t have 7.3 million in assets. So, the feds are looking to seize his precious records in order to pay off his inordinate tab.

The feds are also looking to seize:

  • $5 million in cash currently held in an E-Trade brokerage account
  • Shares held in Turing Pharmaceuticals
  • An Enigma machine
  • A Picasso painting

When you’re as handsome, good-looking, smart and wealthy as me, things just fall into your lap.
– Martin Shkreli

Having the feds take away all of the (eclectic!) treasures Shkreli has amassed with his ill-gotten gains is so friggin’ perfect. In fact, when I read the news I shouted “UP FROM THE 36 CHAMBERS” so loud that I thought my neighbor was going to call the cops. Instead, through our thick shared wall, I heard him callin’ out the correct response (at what must have been an incredible volume): “IT’S THE GHOST!”

Ghostface Killah, Wu-Tang
Ghostface Killah, Wu-Tang

Martin’s lawyer, Benjamin Brafman (who also represents noted sex criminal Harvey Weinstein), released a short statement which essentially boiled down to: “None of the investors lost any money and Martin did not personally benefit from any of the counts of conviction.” Yeah, it’s gonna be a tough case, but it seems Brafman is used to standing up for unconscionable people with no credibility.

As for Shkreli’s reaction, you just know he’s throwing a massive tantrum right now. First, they took his Twitter and now they’re taking his toys. Kind of like how he took away access to life-saving medication for people with HIV.

Martin is scheduled to be sentenced in federal court on January 16, 2018. Good riddance.

Listen: Wu-Tang Rips Shkreli A New One

My price hikin’ like the pills Martin Shkreli sell.
– Inspectah Deck of Wu-Tang Clan

Written by Kelly Mears

Kelly is the Technical Director of Other98.